Gravity
by Darst
Summary: This takes place somewhere between first episodes of TFP: when Megatron returns to decepticons. Someone has to inform the warlord of his CSO' demise. Soundwave's POV. Pure angst with underlying longing. One-shot


Back in the old days, we used to say "Gravity is unavoidable". Either you surge up or you fall down, every flyer knows that. Starscream included. I think this is the cause of his anxiety - he has to fight his way up to merely keep his place. Unfortunately, he's trying to fight the wind. I, on the other wing, prefer soaring. Saves you a lot of trouble.

While our itchy Commander tries to conquer his place in the sun, I'm peachy in shadows.  
If I had the ambition... wait, I did have the ambition back then. I had been Megatron's SIC for longer than any of those after me. And I didn't fail him. As I don't fail him now.  
First Lieutenants come and go. I stay.

I know why he keeps giving them treacherous brats chances after chances. Why he tolerates their plotting and scheming behind his back.

Back then our quest started as a quest for individualism and independence. But we had learned quickly and painfully that most of our brethren would gladly trade those virtues for the ease of following orders and not shouldering any responsibility. Left alone, without inspiration and guidance, cybertronians knew no better than to align themselves with anyone strong enough to command. Oh, this immense freedom of following!

I must confess, I'm not entirely free from its lure as well.

Exceptions are rare. And therefore treasured. Having to occasionally squish a conspiracy or fight off an assassination attempt is not a big price for having a cunning and devious SIC packed with initiative.  
As long as you stay one step ahead conspiracies and assassins, of course. And that is where I step in.

In Megatron's absence, I must say, Starscream had performed better than expected. Of course there is this hope shining in him that Megatron would never come back, but it doesn't matter as long as the Cause goes on.

The Seeker is clever and intuitive, he knows better than to doubt me when I say Megatron is coming back. Good boy. Had he not ordered me to open the space bridge, I would have snuffed him and opened it nonetheless.

Gravity is indeed unavoidable. As soon as the steel jet flies through the bridge I feel its pull. For there, at the space bridge, is my singularity, saluting those on Nemesis with gladiator's victory gesture.  
Saluting me.

Starscream plays it off well enough. He fakes joy and reports on his actions during those vorns that Megatron had been elsewhere. Those too many too long vorns.  
I know it's unwise and I should surge up if I want to keep flying, but I also know that today I will soar down to low-level.

It takes a while. I busy myself with navigation and surveillance, waiting for the formalities to end. When finally all plans are laid, troops encouraged, resources assessed and Starscream subtly warned against doing anything stupid (which I'm afraid passed unnoticed by him), Megatron retires to his quarters to refill and recharge.

In an orn I'm off duty and I go to give him my report.

I override the entrance code and step in. It takes all my resolve to resist the gravity and I have nearly forgotten how it feels, but I manage.

He's standing at the window display, but turns to me as I enter. I spot a half-empty energon cube on the table and I'm suddenly very hungry but at the same time I know this is a fake hunger conjured up by my mind trying to make me fall through the event horizon.

"I thought you might show up. Was Starscream's report faulty?"

"No, my liege. Incomplete, though to an explainable extent. However, there is one news I have to deliver to you personally"

He tenses, probably getting the idea from my EMF. There was only one news Starscream would not dare to bring upon Megatron by himself - the demise of one of those he valued.

"Who?" - my lord's voice is rasp with emotion and mine is as well when I force myself to speak the name

"Shockwave. He perished back on Cybertron in the space bridge explosion while chasing Autobots who sabotaged it."

Megatron's hand closes on the energon cube and he throws it at the wall with an angry roar. I wince under my mask. I have lived with this for vorns, but speaking it still pains me as much as it did the first time.

It takes him a couple of clicks to regain himself. He turns away from me not wishing me to see the effort it takes to get his face plates back under control.

"Was his body recovered?" - he asks in a strained voice, and I resort to my most emotionless and mechanical voice, prioritizing all resources toward self-control as I'm afraid to lose it and rush to him.  
"Negative, my lord. Shockwave: inside the bridge at the time of explosion."

Three clicks of silence and I suddenly find one of my feelers stretch toward him. I call it back and reach out with my EMF field instead.  
I expect fury and hurt, but all I get off him is ashes on the wasteland and grim determination. I've worn my facial mask for eons. I can recognize one when I see one.

He sits down on his berth and puts his head down.

"This is most unfortunate" - he says emotionless. " with our scientist gone we cannot fully secure the edge I obtained during my journey"  
The words are empty and I don't respond to them. Shockwave was like us. He was part of the old team. He was family. Megatron doesn't have to speak about it, he knows that I know.  
I sit beside my lord, caution aside, like we used to back in the old days, after the fights, when the desire to prove to yourself that you were still alive became a middleware imperative. A moment's hesitation when my wiser part screams for distance doesn't stop my hand when it lands upon his shoulder plate.

My EMF grows to cover us both and I pour all my faith and loyalty as well as all the security I can offer him into the field.

He slowly tilts toward me and presses his bucket helm to mine, showing me the ultimate trust, allowing me past all the boundaries there are.  
We stay like that for several clicks. Back in the old days there was always a lot of casual post-traumatic fragging among the Pit-walkers. It had never been between the two of us.  
Who needed the frigging fragging when we had this?!

Finally he pulls away from me. I know he would say something but he can't - it has all changed. We have changed. Yet sometimes the past looks from around the corner and calls upon us, renegades.

Silently I leave his quarters.

I should ask Starscream to teach me how to screw things up. Then Megatron would chew me out for failure and that would help me distance and kick me up into the air again.

You have to fight gravity to stay airborne.


End file.
